Why we opted for a home birth

Home birth. Two words that illicit a wide range of reactions depending on who you’re talking to. Listen, I am not here to advocate that everyone should have a home birth (especially when there are special medical circumstances). What I am here to do is share what worked for us and start to normalize the idea that birth does not have to be a medical event. So, let’s dive in.

Full disclosure: I heard about someone having a home birth several years ago and it really weirded me out. Just keeping it real here! However, as my husband and I started getting ready to start our family, I began doing research. I also learned a ton about the history of birth and the current state of affairs through my prenatal yoga training. I also had a brief stint as a labor support volunteer at a local labor and delivery unit and saw firsthand some of the things that happen in the hospital.

I knew that regardless of where I was delivering, I wanted to have an unmedicated and instinctual birth. For me, part of the fun about being a human is experiencing all of it. The good, light, fun stuff … but also the hard, messy, bring-you-to-your-knees stuff. My trust in, and pure awe of, nature has only deepened over time, and for me birth is one manifestation of nature’s perfect design. With that, the more I learned about birth, the more all signs started pointing to bringing our baby into the world at home. Full disclosure - my husband was not exactly thrilled when I said I wanted to do a home birth. But with some education from our doula, midwives, and a little leap of faith, he got on board. More on this in another post.

Okay … on to the more practical side of things. Here are some key things that influenced our choice to have a home birth.

Shared values with our birth team: This was one of the most important things to me. I wanted to be supported by a birth team that honors low-risk pregnancy and birth as natural processes. Many medical providers see low-risk birth as a medical event that needs to be managed and disrupted with interventions that often prioritize the hospital’s interests over the mother’s. I was looking for a team that had inherent trust and respect for women’s bodies, intuition, and the process of birth overall. While it is possible to find this in a variety of settings if you look hard enough, I found this through a midwife practice outside of the hospital system.

Safety: At the end of the day we are mammals with a primal need for safety, especially to do something like give birth. The environment that invokes safety will be different for everyone based on a variety of factors including identities, past experience, trauma history, etc.

While home births can be looked at as dangerous and irresponsible, I did my due diligence and ultimately knew I would feel safest in our home. Of course, I also considered the practice’s reputation since the quality of providers can vary, even if you are going with a midwife.

Nourishment: Giving birth is one of the most physically intense processes a woman goes through! Nourishing myself how I wanted, with food and drinks my body was used to (organic and unprocessed) was really important to me and I wanted to be able to eat and drink throughout.

For me, this included tea, bone broth, homemade energy bites, and a huge bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup after the birth. Hospitals vary in what is available (in general it is typically, and ironically, not the healthiest food) as well as their policies on whether you are able to eat anything during labor.

Movement: I wanted to be able to truly listen to my body and move freely, without restriction, and with minimal interruption. My birth team did intermittent monitoring on our baby’s heart rate, which did not require me to be hooked up to any wires or machines.

Things like swaying, rocking, pelvic tilts, and deep lunges, among other things helps baby make their way into the world with more ease. (This is generally still possible in a continuous monitoring set up, just with some equipment attached.)

Delivery position: I was able to deliver our baby in the position that felt most natural and intuitive to me in the moment. For me this ended up being in the birth tub on my knees.

There are actually many positions to deliver a baby in and while our culture generally defaults to lying on the back, many other positions typically create more space for baby to come out.

Energetics: Energy is real, y’all. We transformed our basement into a cozy den with the birthing tub, an altar, flowers, dim lights, and music. I also had access to go outside if I wanted. Being in our own space and surrounded by beauty helped me relax and navigate the experience. Our birth team used low voices and made minimal disruptions throughout the process. This helped me focus way inward and let things unfold.

I strongly encourage any expecting mama to choose a birth location and team that feels most aligned to her. And most importantly, if you aren’t getting what you need from your birth team, make a change! I know this is easier said than done, but it is possible. If you are local to the DMV area, reach out and let’s connect about other options.